6 Things I Quietly Stopped Doing to Protect My Peace

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich

I was doomscrolling this morning, my heart racing; one video after another was about a topic I felt strongly about, and the comments were pure chaos. I could feel my chest tighten, even after putting my phone down. It put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. That's when it hit me: I've been spending so much time entertaining negative things, without even realizing it. We consume stuff without thinking, telling ourselves it's harmless: a video, a comment, whatever, and then hours later we're left thinking, I shouldn't have involved myself in that.

When I realized how much negativity I was entertaining, I started to pay attention to what else I was letting into my life and quietly began letting go of things that weren't serving me.

1. Stop Tolerating People Who Tear You Down

This one took me the longest to act on because it's not obvious when it happens until you notice how drained you are afterwards. 

Whether it's at work, school, or even at home, you're bound to come across people who see you as an easy target, someone to take advantage of, or someone to use to make themselves feel bigger. Some hide behind "constructive criticism" that's really just a way to shame or humiliate you. After interacting with them, you feel smaller and uninspired, instead of motivated to actually do better.

The tricky part here is that usually these people are not strangers. They're normally a huge part of your life; they're colleagues you work with every day, and even people in your own family. So it's impossible to remove them from your life, but you can control how much access they have to you: how much time you spend around them and how much their opinions matter.

2. Stop Seeking Validation

We're all victims of copying things we like, whether it's a style, habit, way of speaking, or how we carry ourselves. That's not a bad thing at all, as long as you're emulating something genuinely good. The problem starts when you're copying a group or person because, in your mind, you deem them better than you, and on top of that, you're twisting yourself to fit in to the point where you're putting other people down. 

The people that you are trying to impress aren't actually paying that much attention to you. They're busy living their lives, worrying about their image, and you're out there performing for an audience that barely notices, while you lose touch with who you are. The validation never lands anyway because it's not really about you to begin with.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Social Media

This is probably the one most people can relate to, because of how hard it is to avoid. Watching a 'get ready with me' video of a millionaire can leave you feeling inspired to work harder, but it can quietly turn into comparison, especially if the person is your age or younger. You quickly realise that their life looks exactly like the one you dreamt of for yourself, so you start thinking: I'm not good enough; I should have already achieved what she has. You start measuring your worth based on what others have posted online.

What that 1-minute video doesn't show you is the years of work, or failed attempts, or help they may have gotten along the way, the boring, unfilmed parts. Social media always shows the finished product and skips the entire process. Comparing your chapter one with someone else's highlight chapter that they posted is unhelpful to you because we're not the same. Your journey is yours.

4. Stop Eating and Drinking What Makes You Feel Bad

Photo by Maria Orlova

This one is still a work in progress for me. I used to love junk food, and I had snacks in my drawer next to me as I worked. I also love my coffee, which sometimes means I struggle to sleep because I've had too much in the evening.

After eating all the junk food, I feel sluggish, a bit foggy, and I even get a tummy ache sometimes. So I had to cut down on the amounts I ate because I knew how it affected me afterward. 

5. Stop Consuming Negative Content

The last one is closely related to the first point of this article, where you need to stop consuming and entertaining negative energy on purpose. 

There are genuinely times when being on social media is a horrible experience. Your heart races after seeing a video or comment that makes you angry or upset; sometimes you even wonder, "Is this how people think?" And then I started to notice a pattern: a lot of this is designed that way on purpose. Outrage will keep people watching and commenting, regardless of whether it's true. Yale researchers found that platforms actually train people to post more outrage over time, since it's what gets rewarded with likes and comments. The algorithm is designed so you keep coming back. Once I saw it as manipulation rather than 'content', it became easier for me to skip those videos.

I haven't completely stopped using social media: that's not realistic for most of us. But I'm more intentional about it now. It's easier to curate the algorithm to something you like and block content you don't like. And if I notice that I'm starting to doomscroll and I'm getting anxious, I just take a break from social media.

6. Stop Overcommitting

Saying yes all the time is easier in the moment, until it affects your time and energy. I would agree to plans, extra work, and favours; anything really to make people like me. Then I'd end up tired and resentful, scrambling to keep up with everything I signed up for.

Saying no used to feel like I was letting someone down, but not anymore because I know how it affects me when I overcommit and therefore don't deliver to my fullest potential.

Final Thoughts

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

None of this happened overnight; some of it is still a work in progress (yes, I'm talking about the snack drawer). But I'm quietly trying to cut out the negativity, toxic people, the comparison, the overcommitting, all the noise: it has really made a difference in my life; I'm calmer and happier. You don't have to do it all at once, one step at a time.